I can't be sure if this is gonna be the last blog post of this blog but still...

People keep telling me let go. like it's THAT easy... They tell me to keep moving forward, which is what i really want to do but i'm having difficulties with that.

I have the Shoe Throwers, which i think is more than i'll ever need. Still, i can't move on. It's depressing. I thought i might as well end off this blog with a last post if you really want to end it all.

I really enjoyed being your best friend. I really thought it was going to work out. The thing about this whole thing is that i had fun. I know we fought. I know i caused all those fights. But fighting is just part of what comes with being best friends. i really didn't want to lose you as a best friend. I really wanted to make it work.

I really wish it would last forever like you said. I don't even know why i'm taking this so hard.

What makes it so hard for me to let go is the fact that we had so many great times together and now it's all gonna be gone. Just like that. Remember how we first met officially? I borrowed your pen at the Sec 1 camp because ours went off somewhere. And the slapping just started. Somehow, it just came so naturally for me to slap you.

I couldn't wait for the drama camp. We hiked 2.4 km to the campsite and i saved your life from getting into someone else's car.We found the cubes area together and we pretended to make some weird adventure game or music video. We were selected from each our groups to be dressed in a garbage bag and toilet paper and catwalk down the place. During our charades game, we kept 'cursing' each other... We took our first informal and formal pictures in that supermarket in NUS. You asked me why the Team Singapore athlete had no pimples. I raised my hand and said you had a question and i made you ask it.

That night, Tian Tian scolded us for embarrassing the school and she just couldn't stand the fact that we kept slapping each other... I shouted at you, Pearlyn, Queenie and Ayu the next day because you kept asking me what the 3 'P's were and i had to take all the blame for embarrassing the school. That night, you told me not to be upset.

When watching your group rehearsal for the big performance, you saw me looking really angry. You asked me to smile :)

We soon became best friends. We watched Hancock and Wall-E together. I tried to steal all the popcorn while you kept telling me to cheer up. I went with you to get your Jap dictionary. We wasted time at Border's. I took a video of you giving me the clue to your phone password.

On Teacher's Day, you 'cheered' for me being the emcee even though i didn't even notice. I tried to convince you to open up the potato chips but you just didn't want to. We made the Teacher's Day slideshow at my house together. You basically just slacked around. You hid the mushroom in my room and made me guess where it was. You really hated that mushroom and made me take a picture of you trying to hit it. I made you kiss the mushroom 10 times. I named the mushroom after you for that reason. When watching Sweeney Todd, our singing got so irritating that you had to tell me to shut up :)

Those memories are gone now. We would have been able to experience more great times like that if i hadn't been such an idiot who couldn't control anger. I blame myself for this. I still can't let it all go. Just one look at that mushroom is enough to make me recall everything that happened. I wish you didn't hate me so much now, you know. I wish you still cared like you always did.